We\u2019ve heard saying like \u201cIt\u2019s not what you say, but how you say it\u201d; \u201cActions speak louder than words\u201d; \u201cIt\u2019s not what you way, but how you feel when you say it.\u201d\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0After an incident this past week, I totally agree with all of those statements more than ever.\u00a0 Why? Well, communication is a tough nut to crack.\u00a0 Words mean different things to different people.\u00a0 Even the same word means different things to the same person.<\/p>\n
Depending how one feels at the time, a word can mean different things to them.<\/p>\n
If someone feels a \u201cvictim\u201d, \u201cpowerless\u201d, or \u201cnot heard\u201d, they may feel better (more empowered) with the word \u201caggressive\u201d or \u201cassertive\u201d.<\/p>\n
If someone is doing quite well, everything is falling into place, they are magically attracting the right attention from the right people concerning the areas they are passionate about, life is going well for them \u2013then \u201cbeing aggressive or assertive\u201d will feel too heavy handed for them.\u00a0 They may interpret \u201caggression\u201d as to manipulative and forceful.\u00a0 \u00a0The words are neither \u201cwrong\u201d, \u201cright\u201d, \u201cinappropriate\u201d or \u201cproper\u201d.\u00a0\u00a0 The words did not change, but the people are in different places in their lives.\u00a0 The people are in different \u201cfeeling places\u201d or at different energy and vibrational levels.<\/p>\n
The confusion is not just between \u201cdifferent\u201d people.\u00a0 The same words can mean different things to the same person.\u00a0\u00a0 When we are in different points in our day or life, the same words may hit us very differently.<\/p>\n
For instance, when someone is in a really in a \u201clow, depressed, angry mood\u201d, telling them to \u201cjust shrug it off, cheer up, things will work out\u201d may gain you a black eye.\u00a0 But if that same person is just mildly annoyed, telling them to \u201cjust shrug it off, cheer up, things will work out\u201d may gain you a companion to a fun movie to distract thoughts away from the annoyance.<\/p>\n
We\u2019re also trained to take \u201cpast actions\u201d into consideration when someone speaks as well. \u00a0This is the \u201cActions speak louder than words\u201d addendum.\u00a0 \u00a0It\u2019s difficult to take someone\u2019s word seriously, when they don\u2019t take it seriously themselves.\u00a0 I can get stuck on this integrity issue.\u00a0 I personally feel that people should do what they say they are going to do.\u00a0 But not everyone feels the same.\u00a0 The proof is all the judge and courtroom shows on television these days.<\/p>\n
The television judges are consistently pointing out this fact.\u00a0 \u201cIf they never paid you back before, why did you think they would pay you back this time?\u201d is often a question for the plaintiff. \u00a0\u00a0The judges normally site common sense and previous behavior to illustrate that the plaintiff didn\u2019t really have an expectation of being paid \u2013 because the defendant never paid them back before.<\/p>\n
But \u2013 what about giving people the benefit of the doubt.\u00a0 People can change.\u00a0 Shouldn\u2019t I give them another chance to turn themselves around?<\/p>\n
Well \u2013 I would give them the benefit of the doubt, but on my own terms.\u00a0 I certainly don\u2019t want to be resentful of them or myself for putting myself in the same position as I have done before.\u00a0 The old adage \u201cFool me once, shame on you.\u00a0 Fool me twice, shame on me\u201d springs to mind.<\/p>\n
Conclusion:<\/strong><\/p>\n At the start of this journey we focused on \u201cwhat other people are saying or doing\u201d \u2013 but we actually ended up with \u201cwhat we are saying or doing\u201d.\u00a0\u00a0 Next blog we will review actual practical scenarios on how to do this.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" We\u2019ve heard saying like \u201cIt\u2019s not what you say, but how you say it\u201d; \u201cActions speak louder than words\u201d; \u201cIt\u2019s not what you way, but how you feel when you say it.\u201d After an incident this past week, I totally agree with all of those statements more than ever. Why?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1508,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"give_campaign_id":0,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,7,5,6,847,848,849],"tags":[39,33,64,1370,17],"class_list":["post-6018","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-leadership","category-goals","category-time-management","category-communications","category-self-leadership","category-1-1-leadership","category-team-leadership","tag-best-practices","tag-common-sense","tag-communication","tag-leadership","tag-lessons-learned"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/svapm.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6018","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/svapm.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/svapm.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/svapm.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1508"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/svapm.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6018"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/svapm.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6018\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/svapm.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6018"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/svapm.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6018"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/svapm.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6018"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}