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Dear Diary –<\/p>\nDear Diary –<\/p>\n
For Christmas one of my closest friends gave me a dish towel that says “Being unstable and b-tchy is just part of my mystique.”\u00a0 Knowing that there is truth in sarcasm, and understanding the importance of good communication skills and positive relationships to project success, I’ve decided to recommit myself to improving my relationships through improved communication skills.<\/p>\n
Step 1 – Categorize the kinds of conversations I’m having.\u00a0 I figure that being able to identify the different types of conversations should help me engage in each of them in more appropriate ways.\u00a0 Here are a few of the most important that I’ve identified, and some guidelines for each:<\/p>\n
a. Historical – Reviewing the past, what happened, what led to things being the way they are today, can be helpful if we learn from the past and avoid making similar mistakes in the future.\u00a0 But blaming the past for the present, and digging up reasons in the past that squelch current action and future possibilities – well, that’s like driving while staring in the rear-view mirror.\u00a0 Get your eyes on the road ahead!<\/p>\n
b. Commitment to Action – No mamby-pamby “I’ll try.” or “Well, I’ll see what I can do.”\u00a0 These are conversations where we clearly state our commitment to either finding a way to achieve what needs to be done, or express our determination to invent a way to do it out of thin air or sheer will-power.<\/p>\n
c. Possibility Speaking – Creating the future by first conjuring it into being through conversations that explore what’s possible.\u00a0 Use Joel Barker’s<\/a> paradigm shifting question to pry loose your grip on past precedent and the status quo:\u00a0 “What seems impossible today, but if it WERE possible, would transform <your project, your work, your life, the world> for the better?”<\/em><\/p>\n d. Evasive – This is where the “I’ll try.” or “Well, I’ll see what I can do.” conversations fit, or in some corporate cultures it shows up as “We need to study further.”, “We need more data.”, or “We don’t have enough <time, money, people, etc.>” \u00a0 Avoid these like the plague – they sap your personal power and undermine your cred with others.\u00a0 Don’t be afraid to label these for what they are, and either get agreement on something that everyone CAN clearly commit to, or move on to people who WILL make a clear and firm commitment.\u00a0 Life’s too short to spend hanging out with this “wait and see” crowd.<\/p>\n e. Whining and Complaining – Everyone’s got their own burdens, and dumping a load of verbal vomit on others is not going to help me become the kind of leader I admire.\u00a0 Venting can be healthy, but limit it to 2 minutes, or pay a professional to listen to the BMW (b-tching, moaning and whining).\u00a0 Don’t lay that crap on family and friends.<\/p>\n f. Gossip and Bad-mouthing Others – Just don’t do it.\u00a0 It might feel satisfying to rip on other people, but it erodes my integrity and undermines any respect the other person might have for me.<\/p>\n In order to become a more effective project leader (and better human being, like Tiger Woods aspires to be) I’m determined to focus on conversations c. and b., spend an appropriate amount of chat time on a., and eschew d., e. and f. like they’re a virulent form of the H1N1 virus.<\/p>\n Step 2 later this week . . .<\/p>\n Wish me luck!\u00a0 – Scrappy Kimberly P.S.\u00a0 Did you know “that” word is an acronym that stands for “Being in Total Control of Herself”, or “Boys I’m Taking Charge Here”?<\/p>\n Want to get even scrappier? Check out all 5 “Scrappy Guides<\/a>“, including August’s\u00a0Scrappy Women in Business<\/a> by me and 11 gal pals, \u00a0Scrappy General Management<\/a> by Michael Horton, released in October, and\u00a0Scrappy Business Contingency Planning<\/a> by Michael Seese, released in November 2010.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Dear Diary – For Christmas one of my closest friends gave me a dish towel that says “Being unstable and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"give_campaign_id":0,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3567","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-communications","category-miscellaneous"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/svapm.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3567","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/svapm.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/svapm.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/svapm.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/svapm.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3567"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/svapm.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3567\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/svapm.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3567"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/svapm.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3567"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/svapm.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3567"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nKimberly Wiefling, Author, Scrappy Project Management<\/a><\/p>\n