{"id":12795,"date":"2013-09-03T11:20:24","date_gmt":"2013-09-03T18:20:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/svapm.org\/?p=12795"},"modified":"2013-09-03T10:21:59","modified_gmt":"2013-09-03T17:21:59","slug":"she-took-the-concern-right-out-of-my-mouth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/svapm.org\/?p=12795","title":{"rendered":"She took the concern right out of my mouth"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"dentist\"<\/a>I learned 2 communication tips from my dentist last week. (Just by seeing the word \u201cdentist\u201d, you got the shivers, right?\u00a0 So much for being in control.)\u00a0 I was having a crack in a tooth filled. When my dentist removed the Q-tip that had the pre- numbing agent on it, I closed my eyes. \u00a0Why? I did not want to see the incoming needle.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s what happened next. See if you can find the tips.<\/p>\n

The assistant put the vacuum in. My dentist pulled my lip away and said, \u201cYou\u2019ll feel a slight prick\u201d, which I did. \u00a015 seconds passed and she was still holding the needle in my gum. Several deep breaths. Still the needle remained. 30 seconds passed. Still in there. I raised my hands and made the universal \u201cthis is lasting over a long time\u201d gesture \u2013 you know the one, put your hands together, finger tips touching and pull your hands apart slowly.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d she said, acknowledging my gesture and STILL holding the needle in place.\u00a0 30 more seconds. \u00a0One more deeper breath. Finally, out it came.<\/p>\n

Now I could talk:<\/p>\n

\u201cWow, that seemed like a really long time. I would have liked to have known up front that it would be a long time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI do that so it won\u2019t hurt as much.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you. It didn\u2019t hurt at all. I would have liked to know up front that it would be a long time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks for the feedback. Some patients don\u2019t want to know anything, the don\u2019t-talk-to-me-until-it\u2019s-over folks.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI like to know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou got it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"information<\/a>Did you find the tips? (See “Wake-Up” <\/span>at end of this post)
\n<\/b><\/p>\n

Tip #1:\u00a0 Give people information in the form they prefer. (If you\u2019ve done the Performance Style & Ambitions assessment with me, you know what this means.) Some people like to hear the bottom-line conclusion first, others like to hear the step-by-step that leads up to the conclusion.<\/p>\n

Tip #2: Acknowledge the feedback.\u00a0 (I repeated my comment because I didn\u2019t feel heard. When she said \u201cthank you for your feedback\u201d, the communication loop was closed.)<\/p>\n

Tip #3:\u00a0 Watch and read body language. (My hand signals.)<\/p>\n

Tip #4: \u00a0Don\u2019t deflect or diminish someone\u2019s experience or point of view. My dentist did not say: \u201cOh, it was only in there 20 seconds total. That\u2019s not long.\u201d<\/p>\n

Numb gum.\u00a0 Sensitive ears.<\/b><\/p>\n

With my gum numb, she began drilling (I hate that high-pitched screech!) and narrating the requested play-by-play. She used wedges, a metal corral (my word), laser light to reveal the crack and cure the various compounds. \u00a0Rinse. Spit. All done.<\/p>\n

My tooth was always going to be fixed. What made me feel great as I left (Ok, leaving the dentist is always better than going in. Am I right?) was my experience of being heard and respected. When my dentist thanked me for my feedback, she took the concern right out of my mouth \u2013 the concern that she didn\u2019t care about what I needed and wanted.<\/p>\n

Good news<\/b>: You don\u2019t have to go to the dentist to use these tips. \u00a0Experiment with them in your very next conversation.\u00a0 This goes for everyone: Leaders, Employees, Executive Directors, Volunteers. Deliver your information in a style that makes it easy for your listener to hear. \u00a0\u00a0When you do, you\u2019ll be seen as someone fills the cracks of misunderstanding before they cause damage.<\/p>\n

~~~~ <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Hey, <\/span><\/strong>S<\/b><\/span>ilicon Valle<\/span>y, it’s time to Wake Up!\u00a0 <\/b>You are the CEO of your career, not your employer!\u00a0\u00a0<\/b><\/em> <\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Attend my<\/b> <\/em>1-Day Workshop Thursday, Oct. 10th<\/sup><\/i><\/strong>: <\/i><\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Using Core Values to Boost Your Business Success & Satisfaction<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Presented by Silicon Valley Polytechnic Institute. Register<\/span><\/a> <\/span>today for the early bird discount.<\/span> <\/b><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I learned 2 communication tips from my dentist last week. (Just by seeing the word \u201cdentist\u201d, you got the shivers, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1548,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"give_campaign_id":0,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,847,899],"tags":[39,13,64,54],"class_list":["post-12795","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-communications","category-self-leadership","category-career-2","tag-best-practices","tag-career-development","tag-communication","tag-soft-skills"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/svapm.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12795","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/svapm.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/svapm.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/svapm.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1548"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/svapm.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12795"}],"version-history":[{"count":18,"href":"https:\/\/svapm.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12795\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12813,"href":"https:\/\/svapm.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12795\/revisions\/12813"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/svapm.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12795"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/svapm.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12795"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/svapm.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12795"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}